May!

It has been a month and an update is long overdue. It’s weird thinking about how I used to blog so much and now all of a sudden I’ve just stopped. It has almost been 2 years since I’ve had this blog!

AP tests are over and that is a big relief! Calculus AB was by far the easiest test I’ve taken. I’m not quite sure about the others, I think I just did average on those, except for biology, which was probably slightly below average. I have got to admit that it was pretty impressive when my bs about viruses and the central dogma of biology turned out to be right! Anyway, I’m hoping for some positive responses in July. :D

So recently I tried downloading the CS4 Master Collection again, and it turned out to be epic fail! I kept getting, “Session has dependencies that cannot be satisfied,” when I tried to start the setup. Then I remembered that when I got my CS3 Photoshop, I had to delete my Photoshop 7, so I deleted my CS3 hoping that it would work. BUT IT DID NOT WORK WHATSOEVER! Then I just thought I could live with just CS3 and I can download Illustrator separately later, so I got the setup for my CS3 and that didn’t even work! So now I’m CS4-less and CS3-less. It’s so sad for me to not have my Photoshop. But Chase is saving my life. :)

I’m also really mad about the debates we’re doing in APUSH. I’m just frustrated that I got a crap of a partner that cannot formulate her own thoughts and let alone the rebuttals! I think I should have gotten the chance to pick who I wanted to work with. Stupid AP bio test screwed me over. If we are keeping these same partners for the next debate, I swear that I am going to go insane because I hate doing so much work.

I really don’t see a reason in pushing things back nor do I find it necessary to see how far a person would bend until they break, figuratively. I think if you chose to do what you do, you should be able to manage your time, if you can’t, you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing then. Grow up; you’re not always going to have people bending to your requests. Get used to staying up late every once in a while, it’s not the end of the world if you’re tired the next morning.

It really bothers me nowadays when people are doing things the very last minute seeing how we haven’t been having any homework in our AP classes except for APUSH. No excuses. I don’t give a crap if you have other stuff because you’re not obligated to do those things in the first place.

I’m quite disturbed by some things that I found out. She’s way too desperate and blind and he’s an unfaithful jerk. At the same time, I don’t feel bad that she’s putting herself in a bad situation because she should be learning from other people’s mistakes and she should know that people don’t change. If she can’t learn from people’s mistakes, then I hope she learns from her own after screwing up. I sound mean, but I’m pretty sure that what used to be a “close” friend would not do that to one another, and that makes the consequences well-deserved.

Things would be better off if certain people would get a life and get out of mine. Honestly, I was hoping to never see that person again, but apparently I’ll be seeing them plenty next year. If he happens to butt into my business, I very well will give him a hard time, no joke. If they give crap, I will openly disagree with their methods because as of what I’m hearing, I will hate them to the moon and back.

And that concludes an update from my last post til now, with some missing things in between.

On a side note, I hope Kris Allen wins American Idol. Adam Lambert was good but his voice gets on my last nerves now. It’s just simultaneous shrieking that I wish would stop.

Really, it hurts

I don’t know what else to say besides that it really hurts. I understand there’s no obligation to care here, but please, some integrity and compassion. Having integrity would do some good. Compassion never hurts anybody.

I don’t mean half the things I say, and I wish some people would understand that. But no. So it doesn’t matter on my behalf anymore. I’m not wasting any more of my time caring if I’ll be the only one that shows that. You don’t need to throw yourself all over me or suffocate me with affection, but doing all of that is no freaken way of saying that you care. If you beg to differ, you’re just dilusional!

On the other hand, I’m heartbroken that 13 is probably going to die. :( Foreman really loves her though because if he didn’t, then he wouldn’t have made the irrational decision to risk his career just to start 13 on the real medicine for her Huntingtons. It’s really sad, next week is supposed to be epic, and I’m looking forward to that! I guess loving somebody does make you really irrational.

Olympics Gymnastic rant

This rant will be kind of old, but I guess I’ll write it down on here anyway. So gymanstics really pissed me off this weekend.

For one reason, I thought Alicia Sacromone should have deserved the bronze medal for the vault. Her landing was so much better than Cheng Fei’s and she wasn’t the one that fell on her knees and hands for that one. I honestly thought that more points should have been deducted because of the landing, but nope. It just seems like the judges are favoring the Chinese, ugh. I wanted to cry Alicia, her heart just keeps getting broken and even more broken.

I was a bit upset that the Romanian girl won the floor routine over Shawn Johnson. I didn’t think the Romania’s routine was much, but whatever I guess. I’m not super mad about that.

The event that got me the angriest was over Nastia’s placement in the uneven bar finals versus China. THEIR SCORES WERE TIED! Honestly, I swear the judges are favoring the Chinese more because China made more obvious mistakes than Nastia did yet they got 0.01 point higher after the stupid tie-breaker thing they did that didn’t even make any sense whatsoever! They probably should’ve performed again or given them both gold medals.

It’s a bit ridiculous how most of China’s gold medals are from events that are judged by judges. Even though the judges are probably unbiased, you never know. Not trying to start a conspiracy here, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this.

Update! :)

Cheers to another update! I’ve been too lazy to write blogs for everyday. So here’s life: eat, band, sleep, eat, Olympics, sleep. Maybe a few more ‘eat’ here and there, but you get the idea. Band is moving very fast, we’re already plotting and we have about 18 sets of the first movement done! Very tiring, but I’m just honestly happy that we’re at least moving somewhere. I have a ridiculous tan, it’s disgusting. The sunblock I’m using for my face apparently sucks because I’m having a bad issue of breakouts. Probably has to do with eating out so much too, but honestly, it’s bad.

I’ve been watching the Olympics every night too; beach volleyball, swimming, and gymnastics. Well I don’t know much about those events at all, but they’re all amazing to watching. I think I’ll list my favorites:

Beach volleyball: May-Treanor, Walsh, Dalhausser, Rogers
Swim: Phelps, Coughlin
Gymnastics: Johnson, Liukin

Yeah, okay. I honestly have nothing more interesting to write about.

Forensic Heroes 2

Forensic Heroes 2 was a little better than the first only by a little. The introduction of Bell Ma into the series was very nice, though she wasn’t too likable in the beginning. She was a little cold and isolated, but after she started opening up, she became more interesting and turned into one of my favorites. The addition of Ivan into the forensic team was amazing too, personally because I like his role and character very much. The loss of Ding-Ding was heartbreaking because I really liked her. But her loss only turned Sam’s role into a roller coaster and led to the cruel insight of life for many people. This series was less focused on solving cases, but more into the relationship of the characters; which isn’t all too bad, it was pretty enjoyable still.

The last two episodes were by far the best in the series because of the love between Ivan and Bell. It was so touching and so fairytale like and it was the sunshine after the rain. :) For a while, I was absolutely heartbroken for Ivan because I thought Bell was going to leave him for Sam, but she didn’t. They only got closer together after the car accident. The last episode further proved my love for the character Ivan to be worthy because he practically cared after Sam more than he cared about himself. They were on a boat together setting it up so Ivan can propose to Bell on it and then Sam sat on a chair that had a bomb attached under it, which started the bomb. It was so intense. Ivan tried to stop it, but he only made it worse. He forced Sam to leave, but Sam wouldn’t leave without Ivan. So Ivan tricked Sam into thinking they would both make it out, but inside Ivan knew that he most likely wouldn’t. Well it turned out that Sam left fine and just as Ivan let go of the bomb to run, Bell arrives on the pier and sees the ship blow up. Ivan wasn’t dead though! He was just in a coma. Honestly, a character like Ivan is almost impossible to find in reality and I truly loved the role he played. I also liked Bell’s too. The reason behind that is, she started a press conference and on there she “vomited” like she was pregnant to lure the killer out (the killer was envious of Bell and Ivan because the killer’s partner was killed and she thought she was pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby, but she wasn’t) and it failed the first time, but the killer ended up at the police station. Well, it turns out that the “trick” Bell played wasn’t really a trick, she was actually pregnant! I cringed on the edge of my seat when the killer brought Bell up to the top of the building and then kicked Bell in the stomach. Well anyway, some stuff happened and then Sam pushed the killer away from Bell but they both tipped over the edge and they were free-falling, Sam caught onto something so he was okay, but the killer just fell to the bottom and died. Bell was still able to keep the baby, but Ivan was still in his coma. Then the whole series ends with Tim and Madam Leung’s wedding and Bell is there pretty pregnant at that point and she gets a phone call then goes into tears and drops the phone. She runs away from the wedding and everybody is confused, then Sam’s phone rings and he says “Ivan woke up.” The end.

I personally thought it was stupid how Bell ran considering she was pregnant and she was holding onto her stomach for dear life. I didn’t really like how it ended, it could’ve been more thorough with the whole Ivan thing, that ending didn’t serve him justice at all!

Well okay, this was supposed to be professional, but it failed.

COOK FTW!

David Cook winning American Idol was probably the highlight of my week. I’m completely satisfied that he won and there is no doubt that he will have a successful career. I kind of felt bad for Archuleta considering that his Tuesday performances were very lovely. But looking throughout the season, you cannot doubt that Cook stood out above the rest more than anybody else. Truly, I am looking forward to a new album of his. I really wonder how it would sound like because with him, you don’t know what you’re expecting, just that it’ll be something different.

You know what’s amusing? How Archuleta always seems a bit under-dressed compared to Cook. And I wish Cook would wear something other than cowboy boots, I honestly don’t like them very much.

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

So in English, we have to write this paragraph that is similar to the writings of Edgar Allan Poe; like with all the literary devices and such. I have this amazing picture in my head, so I’m going to try to get it down into words. I think I’ll post it after I write it later tonight. :)

Things have been quite awkward actually. I really wish that he realizes he’s setting himself up; he actually does. But I want him to realize that it will hurt him exactly the same way it did the first time so there won’t be a second time. I feel so bad for saying that he’s being stupid, but it’s out of care, I swear.

Right now, it just hit me that I absolutely love how some things are going, besides that fact that I’ve been extremely exhausted. But other than that I find it amazing for the most part.

Last night’s episodes of Bones and House was extremely intense. Every single time I see Booth and Bones together, I just keep saying to myself “get together already!” It was absolutely crazy when the stalker lady was going to shoot Bones and then Booth stood up and took the shot. It almost made me cry. :( For House, I loved the whole twist and suspense! Next week looks insanely good too. Now tonight, there’s going to be American Idol! Top 3 going on to the finale! :D AHHH I hope Cook gets it, he deserves it so much right now. Too bad I won’t be able to watch it until some other night because I’ll be out for a family dinner tonight. But it will be well worth the wait.

David Cook

I just decided to make a post about David Cook and possibly American Idol in general. It feels like I have completely left you all blank about how I feel about American Idol right now; not like you’d really care. But this serves for me a way to rant without bothering anybody.

So I have completely went from Archuleta to Cook in a matter of a few weeks. I have found that Archie does not give me the chills when he sings because he’s so overly boring now. He has become too predictable and he’s just like an overplayed song on the radio. Sure he’s a prodigy, but he’s just so freaken boring! Which then slowly leads to him appearing less attractive even though his looks haven’t changed much.

My switch over to David Cook all started when he sang Day-Tripper. Actually, I have no idea when, it just kind of happened because I slowly began to realize that he was so talented. Plus, I like his voice; it’s that rock-band type of voice, which I happen to absolutely love. Well I was sure that I was finally in love with his voice when he sang “Always Be My Baby”. That song made me cry. It just proves to be so darn good. :) I would like somebody to serenade that to me.

I think the next person to go home should be Jason. Sadly, he’s so boring too. I might as well add ‘weak’ as well, because his voice is so weak. His style isn’t interesting anymore because he hardly makes a lasting impression and he hardly stands out above the rest. The next to go home needs to be Syesha. She’s proving to be talented, but I don’t think he’s going to cut it just because the show is such a popularity contest. Speaking of which, if Archie wins the whole thing being just the way he has been for the past few weeks, I will be so pissed off. Anyway, as of now, I’m sure the finale is going to be a battle of the David’s.

May I also add; I was browsing through Livejournal communities for David Cook news, and I came upon these Fan-fictions. I read one of the chapters and oh my gosh, it was so disturbing. :( It makes me so sad to read stories like that partially because I do not like how the author portrayed the characters. I also found out that his poor brother, Adam (I think), is dealing with cancer. That is so sad.

A let down.

American Idol tonight was a let down, not the whole thing though. It was just David Archuleta’s performance that I was disappointed in, I thought it would be so much better, but it was just kind of like whatever. But I absolutely loved David Cook’s. Goodness, he was amazing. Danny Noriega’s was by far the funniest that he has done. If you missed if, look for it on YouTube. It’s freaken fantastic in the funniest way possible. I started laughing so much that I decided to call somebody to laugh about it with.

On another note, today I spent so much of my afternoon with Rowland kids playing ‘Around the World’ and giving this speech about hurting other people’s feelings and such. Apparently I have my own little fan club, amazing right? Haha, not really.

At this moment, I am supposed to be writing my report that’s due tomorrow. It shouldn’t be too hard when I have an outline of the book in front of me. :O I was just searching for the character’s brother’s name and I ran across a whole outline on WikiSummaries. Absolutely the most convenient thing ever when I am basically going to die of exhaustion. I can hardly stand being tired anymore.

Have I mentioned anything about my supposed ‘repressed thoughts’? I don’t know, I think I’ll elaborate on it some other time when I remember what I said to myself last night. Or maybe I’ll make that right now, but my elaborate is just a few more sentences, according to what’s going on in my head right now.

According to Sigmund Freud, we exclude certain thoughts, desires, impulses, or feelings into our consciousness and try to contain them in our subconscious. Apparently those repressed thoughts aren’t always running in your mind, but it somehow still affects you everyday without you being conscious of it. Repression is said to be a defense mechanism and are usually traumatic events. This all makes me wonder what I try to repress. Like what am I trying to defend myself from? What even happened in my life that was so traumatic? When I try to think of something, it feels like my heart skips a beat or it would beat really fast for a second and then slow back down to normal. It’s such a weird feeling because I feel it every time I think on this subject. It feels like I know what it is, but I just refuse to admit it and think that I’m actually repressing nothing. To be honest, where this all started, I have no idea. I think it really had to have started from this random day when I decided to look at horoscopes online and it said that I’d have dreams about the thoughts I’ve repressed and it turned out that same night I had the most awkward dream that felt so realistic. It’s like one of those dreams that I have about an event that will occur a month or so later and then when it happens it all seems so familiar and I’ll finally realize that it came from a dream then I start freaking out because I had dreamed about it previously. That’s the moment I usually yell “OMG DEJA VU!” Wicked crazy I tell you.

I think I’m going to write about that on my next free write and read it because right now, my heart feels heavy and awkward. It feels like being weighed down by an anchor.

Irritation and Frustration

I was in the worst mood possible to listen to people say anything about themselves. I was just so frustrated from the lack of sleep that I couldn’t help but feel extremely irritated to so much people. I honestly wanted to just snap in their faces and yell at them. Sometimes I just don’t understand. Yeah, I still feel frustrated and annoyed.

On a side note, I had some freaky deja vu the whole day.

That reminds me, I looked at some very old horoscopes of mine on Yahoo, and some of them were freakishly accurate while some made me literally laugh out loud. “A new variable is coming into your life — in the form of an attractive person.” Like that one made me laugh.

Hearing some words today coming from somebody just hurt me a bit even though it was a joke. It just made me feel so guilty! That sucks.

I wish there was a long break from school already. I’m just so ready for the school year to be over that it’s not even funny.

[MALE] AMERICAN IDOL TOMORROW! I hope I don’t miss any of it because of AP Review. :/ Anyway, I like David Archuleta because he’s adorable, end of story.