Guys. >:|

They scare me sometimes. :(

Why must you make yourselves so repulsive and make my heart race for all the wrong reasons? I’m going to have a heart attack at the age of 17.

Goal

My new goal is to learn sign language. No, it’s not because I watched some new HK drama recently either. I just want to learn to sign!

Another goal: stop procrastinating all the time! Sounds almost impossible, but I’m working on it. It’s just that I don’t like to read so I fall asleep a lot when I’m reading something being forced upon me. You did see me finish reading all 4 Twilight books in 8 days, so you know that I will read if I wanted to.

So I spent an hour writing another post, but I deleted it all to write all of this in a matter of 5 minutes.

You can ask for the password to the previous post if you’re really that interested in reading it. :) I’ll most likely tell you what it is if I don’t absolutely hate your guys or if I just don’t want you reading it.

Protected: If I’ve learned anything, it’s that LIFE GOES ON.

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What?

To be completely honest, after all this time, I am still so unsure about how I feel. The situation isn’t even supposed to be that complicated. I thought one thing, but then it turned out to be the complete opposite – what a let down, I thought things were better than that. Then it just shifted to become this awkward mess.

I over analyzed so much of one thing; I’m just absolutely embarrassed to even mention it anymore. How stupid of me. I hate how I keep missing things when it comes to myself, though when I’m understanding people, I understand them way better. Why is it that I understand other people on such ridiculous levels, yet I can’t even understand myself a majority of the time? Explain, please.

And where did my life outside of school go? Oh right, I lost it the minute school started. I don’t even talk to other people so much anymore; that is just completely nonexistent. But I have been talking to some people that I don’t normally talk to before. Like the guy who sits in front of me in AP Language; sadly I don’t even know his name (I think it’s Tyler?) or do I think he knows mine, but we just randomly started talking today. I don’t even remember what we were talking about.

Okay, I don’t understand where I’m getting at this anymore. I just have so much to say, yet I am in a lack of emotions. I completely envy some people right now, maybe not the kind of people who you would expect.

Protected: Some epic post.

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Protected: WHERE IS YOLANTA WHEN I NEED HER?! #(*)^$@&

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Quite the Week.

It’s only Thursday so far, but the week has been pretty interesting, yet not really. Is that possible? Well anyway, I asked somebody to help with my whole prom plot thing and the person said maybe. I’m supposed to get an answer, but I haven’t gotten one yet and it’s just killing me because I want it all to work!

Yesterday we got our math tests back, I’ve been waiting for a whole week to get it back! I got a 97. I honestly could have gotten 100. But nope, I couldn’t add. I was so mad seeing that I was short 3% only because I added wrong. Honestly, I’m not getting over that. But at least it’s still an A, that’s all that really matters in the end, right? :D

Jeopardy in German today was the funniest thing ever! I kind of loved the competitiveness in my team despite that I was the only girl on that team. We won in the end by one point after final jeopardy because Matt worked it out to be that way. Funny, right? Yes, had-to-have-been-there thing.

You know what’s even more exciting?! Watching “Finding Nemo” in biology tomorrow! Most random thing ever, but I absolutely love “Finding Nemo” despite the fact that some parts make me feel like I’m suffocating underwater.

I feel like such a nerd talking about school. But that’s all that goes on in my life anyway. Maybe I’ll just talk about something randomly in regard to asking the person for help that I mentioned earlier.

So I was really hesitant in asking because despite the fact that he’s a really nice person overall, he just doesn’t seem the same anymore. He has changed to the point where I could hardly stand him when he’s around certain people. First I thought he was really actually caring, but I don’t think so anymore. I think that the only reason why I even ended up doing it was because I desperately felt the need to make prom work after feeling ask if I had somewhat failed Sadies. Yeah, it’s absolutely heart-wrenching to see somebody you really thought highly of slowly start going downwards.

Pointless update

Sadly, our world revolves around the sun. That’s fact, and it probably breaks some people’s hearts unknowingly.

I have the greatest amount of sleep that I need to catch up on, but it feels like there aren’t enough time in the world for me to do that.
Sadies is next weekend. I asked Raymond. :) The story goes; Kimberly kind of convinced me so then she helped me make 2 signs to put on Raymond’s car (he had a game that day). So there’s one sign on the front of his car and the other is on the back. Well, after his game, I asked for his keys to the car and put my stuff in, I walked to the back of the car and he saw me so he said, “Did you get my racket too?” I shook my head and then started walking back to get it. Then I guess he saw the piece of paper waving around on the back of his car so he said, “Can you get that piece of crap off the back of my car too?” My jaws literally dropped to the floor and I wanted to like cry. But that didn’t matter, he said yes anyway. :) Pretty funny story.

Btw, today is Derek’s birthday. So Happy Birthday to Derek even though he probably will never see this.

Irritation and Frustration

I was in the worst mood possible to listen to people say anything about themselves. I was just so frustrated from the lack of sleep that I couldn’t help but feel extremely irritated to so much people. I honestly wanted to just snap in their faces and yell at them. Sometimes I just don’t understand. Yeah, I still feel frustrated and annoyed.

On a side note, I had some freaky deja vu the whole day.

That reminds me, I looked at some very old horoscopes of mine on Yahoo, and some of them were freakishly accurate while some made me literally laugh out loud. “A new variable is coming into your life — in the form of an attractive person.” Like that one made me laugh.

Hearing some words today coming from somebody just hurt me a bit even though it was a joke. It just made me feel so guilty! That sucks.

I wish there was a long break from school already. I’m just so ready for the school year to be over that it’s not even funny.

[MALE] AMERICAN IDOL TOMORROW! I hope I don’t miss any of it because of AP Review. :/ Anyway, I like David Archuleta because he’s adorable, end of story.

The busiest week.

I think the most hectic week has just passed. Honestly I have never felt the need for the week to end so badly before. This week just kind of sucked on so many levels. Mostly because I barely had time to do things. So I’m just kind of glad that it’s over now. Work is piling up and it feels like I don’t have time for any of it. This just sucks. I need to finish reading my book for English and then figure out my costume and do the presentation. Which I think will really suck because I can’t say so much about my character because it’s VERY inappropriate. Even if I was allowed to say all that stuff, I wouldn’t be able to do it because I can’t take myself seriously with that kind of stuff in front of a bunch of other people. Honestly, who can imagine me acting as the character and saying something along the lines of, “Hi, when I was 13, I had a 33 year old boyfriend who liked to have anal sex and he’d give me a blow job and he’d swallow and love it.” I’d kill myself. I cracked up typing it. You’d think I’d be more mature about this, but not even close. I make faces as I read the book because it gets so disturbing. I never thought my book was supposed to be THAT dirty and mortifying.

Raymond’s birthday was on Friday. I was going to make him a cake, but it kind of exploded. Very funny, indeed. I have no idea how it happened, but it did and it was the funniest looking cake ever. So I just decided to not give it to him. Poop.

What do I really have to say? Nothing. I had so much in mind, but it seems to have all disappeared back into their little hiding spots. Eventually there will be no more room for them to hide and they’ll start piling on top of each other which will probably give me the worst day ever.

I have never wanted to talk to the right person so much. I honestly wish some people weren’t so self-centered and some would care to ask ‘hey, what kind of crap do you have today?’ or somebody that had been willing to talk calls just to talk. It’d be so much easier that way.