In confusion, crypticness, life, story on August 14, 2009 by Michelle
When you put your hands on a hot surface, you immediately pull your hand away. The consequence is a burn that will hurt really bad, but it’ll feel better once you put some aloe on it for a period of time. After that burn, maybe you’ll get a scar, but you’ll learn to never touch a hot surface again because it hurts and nobody should make the same mistake twice. But hypothetically, you burn yourself again in the same spot, but this time you purposely put your hand on the same hot surface as last time, how does it feel? Your skin was damaged from the first burn; what does that mean now? Your hands are going to hurt even more now. Surely a little bit of aloe will help, but how much does that actually help? Maybe it works the first time, but probably not this time around. So why would you purposely put yourself through all the pain all over again when you already know what will happen if you do? Had you not learned from the first time that putting your hands on a hot surface will hurt? Did you honestly think it would be different this time around? Nobody should be that stupid to make the same mistake twice.
Right now, it feels like I’m about to burn my hand again; I’m just like an inch away, I feel the heat, but I’m not pulling back. I learned a lot, hopefully I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistake all over again.
In confusion, lesson, life, school, thoughts on February 18, 2009 by Michelle
I know I’ve been saying that a lot, but I think I really am. Good and bad, I think I’ve dealt with a handful of each. To be honest, despite the fact that I may hate the person’s guts, I’m quite thankful for having them put me through a crappy time. It sounds weird, but I think I’d have rather known how all those negative feelings are like now than later on in life when it would matter more. So thanks for all the crap you’ve taught me whether you see it that way or not, that’s how I see it because that’s how I’ve been convinced to see it through actions and words.
Inevitably, people change and I think I have gone through a pretty big one in the past few months. Good or bad, I can’t really tell yet, but you tell me. But are people’s opinions supposed to really matter? I’m pretty conflicted over that. I feel the need to consider people’s feelings all the time, but in the end, how much is that supposed to matter? I think you should care about how people feel, but you’re also supposed to be doing things to benefit yourself and those two don’t always work well and it causes conflict. So how are you supposed to know what to do? It’s like either way, you’re going to screw something over. Anyway, I don’t see a point in this rambling anymore because it’s going absolutely nowhere and absolutely making no sense whatsoever. But bottom line, I’ve changed and I know it. I kind of like how I’m feeling lately so that’s good I suppose. It’s still missing something, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. But whatever it is, I can obviously still be pretty happy without it.
I got nominated for Girls State and because of that, I’ve realized how little I’ve done. I think this should be a motivation for me to use my free time more wisely for something actually productive. So far, I have something similar to a resume and it looks absolutely pathetic from the lack of activity I’ve been involved in. I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t get it, but I hope some miracle happens that I do.
My dreams kind of scare me sometimes. It’s bad enough to dream of somebody getting killed, but then to feel utterly unemotional to that makes me feel terrible. Oh well, either they deserve it or karma is getting back to me later.
In confusion, crypticness, realization on October 12, 2008 by Michelle
Am I really obligated to do all of the things I think I’m obligated to do? I truly believe that it’s an obligation for me to care, but I really don’t want to anymore. Primarily because the things that happened goes against all my morals and values and that person knows it. This makes me wonder if this would have happened if things aren’t the way they are right now. Would things not have been done if that person still cared about me as much as they claim to not do things that are against my morals and values? It’s something worth pondering and my respect for that person isn’t going down as much as I thought, but I truly am disappointed in their actions. I really thought they were better than that despite everything that’s telling me otherwise. I’ve ignored so much of those signs before, it wouldn’t hurt to ignore more, would it? I felt that I was obligated to justify my actions, but am I obligated to care under any circumstances?
I have also slowly come to a realization that I’m very sensitive to the emotions of certain people more than others. It’s pretty hard to describe, but it’s like being connected to a person in a sixth sense or something. I know I sound pretty ridiculous at the moment; just get over it.
In confusion on September 22, 2008 by Michelle
Somebody tell me what I have gotten myself into. This feels so awkward. So um yeah, I don’t understand at all. I hope everything will come out of this alright because I’m not going to be able to put on the guilt if this goes down bad.
Lol, just ignore. :)
In anger, confusion, random, vent on July 25, 2008 by Michelle
In anger, confusion, rant on May 19, 2008 by Michelle
You would think that by now, people would learn from their mistakes and realize their stupidity and ignorance, but no. Instead they roam on with their life pretending that everything they do is still absolutely right when their logic is absolutely screwed up and WRONG on so many levels. Surely I may not have the right to tell people if their logic is right or not, but come on, it’s almost common sense that they’re missing out on.
Cursing is not a virtue. I want to slap everybody that cusses especially when it’s absolutely unnecessary.
At this moment, I would love to completely understand the German language and start talking to people in it because I did that for a second with Yolanta today, and it was fun. :)
On a note of originality, I truly believe there is no such thing; especially if it’s “your thing”. Everybody gets their inspiration from somewhere, which means that it has existed before. So what’s so original about that? Absolutely nothing. This gets me irritated especially when people get anal about it.
Kids burn themselves, somehow; it hurts really bad, but that’s part of learning to never do that again because it hurts. Idiots would burn themselves all over even though they know that it’ll hurt them as much as the first, if not even more. Seeing that absolutely breaks my heart, but only for one person since I understand that person.
In confusion, vent on March 2, 2008 by Michelle
The past few days has been such a bore. My computer lacks the ability to function properly. So this morning my uncle came to take a look at it, we’re still not sure what it was. But he said he’ll reboot the whole computer. With that being said, I immediately backed-up all my files onto my external when he left. AIM still doesn’t work so well, which really sucks. From the looks of this, if rebooting the whole computer will work, I’m not getting a new computer any time soon.
Anyway, I guess this week or so has been a big accomplishment. For the first time, I finished my reading book for Mr. Bryant’s book reports that we’re doing for the second year now. Insane, I know. All those other times, I never really finished a reading book before to actually remember what happens, but this time is different and I remember so much. :) I think it’s mostly because it’s so disturbing, but interesting at the same time so that propelled me to finish reading. I’m pretty sure I got the whole costume thing covered too. I asked Josh to borrow his clothes since he’s pretty much the only guy I can think of and know that’s about the same size as me. So I just hope he’ll remember to look for some and brings it before Thursday rolls around.
I have thought about this for some time now; it’s really said when somebody else is doing the job of listening and talking of someone else. Yeah, on Friday night I talked on the phone for another 2 and a half hours and it really made me feel better about everything. Especially the whole comfort thing without having much being said. But at the same time, it makes me feel so horrible on the inside, which kills. I just want so much for things to be the way they should theoretically be. But why is it that when something seems to be going wrong, my first instinct is to call a certain person instead of the right person? Somebody tell me.
Too many attempts have been made to be more understanding, but it’s not working because I hardly have the patience anymore. I wish it would all just stop. On another note, I wish they’d be more willing to listen rather than talk and be a hypocrite. Yeah, I think I’ve had just about enough of some overrated “issues” that can easily be resolved.
I don’t know how much the people that reads this know me, but I think a few people can actually understand while some can probably guess and be completely right. I realized that it’s not that hard to actually try to understand my posts.
For the first time in such a long time, I think I might not be so sure anymore.
In confusion, school on January 18, 2008 by Michelle
Apparently, things have changed, a lot. What used to be there was gone and it’s just such a let down. At least the feelings of friends are mutual.
It’s complicated. Do you get it? Because I sometimes don’t get this either.
On the other hand, today was our math presentation. Our lecture was boring, but our game got the class up and crazy. We were pretty loud, haha. :D At the last minute, I thought I lost my dice, but it was in my pocket the whole time and then Daniel was like “Omg!” That was a slap on the forehead moment.
In confusion, vent on December 13, 2007 by Michelle
In confusion on November 15, 2007 by Michelle
