November 15, 2008

Somehow I’ve been heading on this downward spiral of some sort. Things just kind of suck a little bit here and there, but I’ve been dealing with it. I’m not sure what’s going on, but my body isn’t being very cooperative lately. It’s really irritating and I’m not sure how I would describe it. But things are just turning completely and it’s really frustrating when you can’t help it.

Last Friday we took a writing benchmark for English and I just did really bad with it. I’ve never done so bad on a writing benchmark before, ever. Ugh, I don’t even want to talk about it and I don’t need anybody to know what I got either. Imagine how hurt I was especially when I thought I had done so well, I really just wanted to cry after I found out what I got. I think that was what really ruined me these past few days along with some little irritable things to top it off…

So I’m trying really hard to be reasonable and it’s working so far, but it’s taking so much of me to be how I’ve been. I believe that I’m pretty passive a majority of the time, but honestly how much longer can I take all of this so calmly and tell myself, “It’s nothing” when I don’t really think that a majority of the time. I understand the situation, I really do, but I think my feelings need to be considered a bit more because really, I’m not always as okay as I say I am and people just need to understand that.

I’m making a pointless point.

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