That’s what you get when you let your heart win.

At the end of the day, we all need a reason to believe.

Mix

I’m not sure how to say right now. I think I’ve been in the most awkward situation ever today. My heart aches for that person and I will never be able to understand his hurt, but part of me feels it for him and I wish I wasn’t able to relate to people so well. I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional for a while.

On an angry note, I’ve realized I can be such a bitch. I swear, he manages to turn on my bitch switch every single time he says/does something. I don’t care how little it is, he totally turns that bitch switch on! I give up my attempt to not cuss until band season is over because I swear I will cuss so much. >:|

7th period in the library today was actually very amusing. Probably the most fun in a while. The basketball boys are so funny, no lie. It’s kind of obnoxious, but it was a bunch of good laughter. :)

Today was just such a bittersweet day. More bitter than sweet, or maybe it’s just all the same.

Filed under: friends, thoughts, vent

May!

It has been a month and an update is long overdue. It’s weird thinking about how I used to blog so much and now all of a sudden I’ve just stopped. It has almost been 2 years since I’ve had this blog!

AP tests are over and that is a big relief! Calculus AB was by far the easiest test I’ve taken. I’m not quite sure about the others, I think I just did average on those, except for biology, which was probably slightly below average. I have got to admit that it was pretty impressive when my bs about viruses and the central dogma of biology turned out to be right! Anyway, I’m hoping for some positive responses in July. :D

So recently I tried downloading the CS4 Master Collection again, and it turned out to be epic fail! I kept getting, “Session has dependencies that cannot be satisfied,” when I tried to start the setup. Then I remembered that when I got my CS3 Photoshop, I had to delete my Photoshop 7, so I deleted my CS3 hoping that it would work. BUT IT DID NOT WORK WHATSOEVER! Then I just thought I could live with just CS3 and I can download Illustrator separately later, so I got the setup for my CS3 and that didn’t even work! So now I’m CS4-less and CS3-less. It’s so sad for me to not have my Photoshop. But Chase is saving my life. :)

I’m also really mad about the debates we’re doing in APUSH. I’m just frustrated that I got a crap of a partner that cannot formulate her own thoughts and let alone the rebuttals! I think I should have gotten the chance to pick who I wanted to work with. Stupid AP bio test screwed me over. If we are keeping these same partners for the next debate, I swear that I am going to go insane because I hate doing so much work.

I really don’t see a reason in pushing things back nor do I find it necessary to see how far a person would bend until they break, figuratively. I think if you chose to do what you do, you should be able to manage your time, if you can’t, you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing then. Grow up; you’re not always going to have people bending to your requests. Get used to staying up late every once in a while, it’s not the end of the world if you’re tired the next morning.

It really bothers me nowadays when people are doing things the very last minute seeing how we haven’t been having any homework in our AP classes except for APUSH. No excuses. I don’t give a crap if you have other stuff because you’re not obligated to do those things in the first place.

I’m quite disturbed by some things that I found out. She’s way too desperate and blind and he’s an unfaithful jerk. At the same time, I don’t feel bad that she’s putting herself in a bad situation because she should be learning from other people’s mistakes and she should know that people don’t change. If she can’t learn from people’s mistakes, then I hope she learns from her own after screwing up. I sound mean, but I’m pretty sure that what used to be a “close” friend would not do that to one another, and that makes the consequences well-deserved.

Things would be better off if certain people would get a life and get out of mine. Honestly, I was hoping to never see that person again, but apparently I’ll be seeing them plenty next year. If he happens to butt into my business, I very well will give him a hard time, no joke. If they give crap, I will openly disagree with their methods because as of what I’m hearing, I will hate them to the moon and back.

And that concludes an update from my last post til now, with some missing things in between.

On a side note, I hope Kris Allen wins American Idol. Adam Lambert was good but his voice gets on my last nerves now. It’s just simultaneous shrieking that I wish would stop.

Filed under: american idol, anger, annoyance, band, crypticness, epic, failure, rant, update, vent

Sick of it

Really, I’m sick of people asking stupid questions or for help when they can clearly help themselves. I’m not even exaggerating when I say they can literally help themselves; you have the same resources that I have, so take your own time to look things up and stop expecting me to take time to looking it up myself and then regurgitate everything back to you. What do you get out of it? Probably just the answer, but nothing else. Do some of your own work! Stop making up excuses, too, it’s lame. Starting being independent, goodness gracious. It gets annoying when you’re constantly asking for help and not trying to help yourself first. I don’t always have time.

I am possibly in the worst mood ever from all this studying.

Filed under: anger, school, vent

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Filed under: annoyance, vent

Not looking forward to this.

I am going to forever and a decade hate you if things actually follow through.

I doubt it will work anyway. Maybe for a few days, but not forever.

Filed under: annoyance, people, vent

Flower Pictures

All taken at the Huntington Library by myself. All completely untouched.

Huntington Library

Filed under: pictures

Untitled

So on Wednesday, the German students arrived! I really liked 2nd period that day, giving them a tour around the school and then just talking to them afterwards. It was just nice. On Friday, I went over to Melissa’s house for pizza and movie with her, Kevin, and Yolanta’s students. Watched Transformers and most of them started falling asleep; so amusing, haha.

On Saturday, I went to the Huntington Library with Yolanta, Zsofi, and Vanessa. We did 4 hours of walking and I took quite a bit of pictures, mostly of flowers. That day was the day I discovered the macro setting on my camera! So the second half of my pictures were really nice quality thanks to that setting. :) Anyway, afterward I went over to Yolanta’s house to swim. Melissa and Johanna ended up coming over. It was way too cold to swim though, so we were in the jacuzzi most of the time, just talking and whatnot. Then we had sushi for dinner, strawberries afterward, and finally rootbeer floats! :D Obviously, it was fun.

Now I’m home, sitting in front of the computer, feeling slightly overwhelmed over what seems to be nothing. I’m not interested in people randomly coming back into my life when they haven’t done anything productive for me all this time. I hate it. And to think things were going so well, I’m actually just back to where I’ve started. It really just sucks. Hopefully these next few weeks will keep me occupied so I won’t feel it at all.

Filed under: German, crypticness, friends, fun, good times

Birthday

My birthday came and went. Nothing big happened and it never does, so I hadn’t expected too much. Present-wise, I don’t get much anymore and this year wasn’t any different. But it really got me thinking about something. How could a person be offered so much, and only give back so little? It kind of irritates me just a little.

So hey, I’m 17, but I don’t even feel like I’m 17, at all.

Filed under: birthday

First Time

Today is truly the first time that I did not feel overwhelmed with emotions. All the other times, I was filled with anger and bad memories. This time around, I was just blank. Good or not, I don’t know, but I’m thankful that my feelings didn’t overwhelm me because it wouldn’t be a good time.

Thank goodness for the repression of memories. It’s getting there.

Filed under: crypticness, life

Routine/SAT

I’ve realized that my life has pretty much fallen into this boring routine. Every day I would go to school, come home, do my homework, and that would be it. Then on the weekend, I would either be home or out with my mom. Rarely does anything exciting come out of it. Maybe that’s why I lack anything to blog about, because nothing happens in my life! I could write about school, but it’s all the same. I could write about how I feel, and half the time, only one thing really pops into my head that I can truly just pour my heart out about and I’ve already written enough about that. Even though I need to write about it a few more times, but for a better purpose. So this kind of explains my idleness in blogging. Maybe the lack of time constitutes for the lack of posts as well.

My first SATs were today! Not going to lie, it was pretty hard. But the parts with the passages were super easy. I think AP Language has done me some good and taught me a lot. I know my weakness is my vocabulary, so I’ll be working on that for the June test day! 2000 vocab word packet!

Filed under: SAT, life

Updates from Twitter!

  • home and unpacked, finally.<3 i could really use a hug right now. :/ 5 hours ago
  • been here at incheon airport since 5am.. it's barely 8:05 now. at least i board in about 40 mins or less. 3 weeks ago
  • acoustic tour w/ @ajrafael as main support? hella excited!(: 3 weeks ago
  • Running last minute errands with my dad. I wish i packed earlier so i could hang out before i leave tonight 3 weeks ago
  • Uh i kinda hate strapless dresses :( 3 weeks ago

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