Dear You,
You are such an asshole. Grow the fuck up already and no more, “Well this is how I really am,” bs excuse. KKTHNXBAI.
Sincerely, Michelle
You are such an asshole. Grow the fuck up already and no more, “Well this is how I really am,” bs excuse. KKTHNXBAI.
Sincerely, Michelle
There’s no need to grieve for too long;
endings are just beginnings in disguise.
What are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to miss somebody less when they’re gone or miss them more? We miss somebody because they’re missing from our life, so you would think that the longer they’re absent, the more you miss them right? That seems to make sense. But why do we tend to miss people less when they’re absent for so long? Maybe it’s because we finally realize that missing them any more won’t bring them back no matter how hard you try or maybe you never really missed that person to begin with. So which is it? Acceptance or just lack of feelings? You tell me.
I’ve come to a realization that he’s more than what I gave him credit for. The amount of respect I hold for this person is far more than what I expected to have for him. Surely he’s beyond just an acquaintance, he’s actually somebody I could call a friend and that’s just what I need right now. I have my shares of friends, but it’s refreshing when you have somebody else put in their perspective.
For the past week or so, I’ve been feeling more stressed and worn out than ever and it’s really beginning to show on my face. I wake up every morning with dark circles under my eyes or my eyes don’t want to stay open at all. Getting out of bed is ridiculously difficult and falling asleep at night is hard. But for some reason, for the time that I spend talking to certain people, I forget about it all and life’s just good.
A guy in German class asked me what I expected out of life, so I answered and once I came to the part about settling down with somebody, he asked what kind of guy I want to look for. I answered, “A guy that is just as smart or smarter.” He replied, “Good, because you can’t fix stupid.“
So hey TERENCE, if you’re ever bored again and you read this… I’m sorry to say, but I guess your face and hair can’t be fixed. ;P Now this has to be somewhat memorable right?
Is it utterly wrong for me to feel so angry and then to allow myself to be consumed in this anger, bitterness, and hatred? I’m not sure if it’s wrong or not, but I can say that it’s utterly unreasonable. I know better than that, yet I let myself stoop down to that level.
Oh Michelle, you’re better than the crap they give you. You know it, but you’re not believing it.
What’s annoying about this whole situation is that I thought I was going to put it behind, but it’s a lot easier said than done. Some people have made it easier though and I thank them unconditionally for unknowingly help me through.<3
Finally. Most ridiculous hour of my life. Even after that, it feels like nothing matters on their behalf. In my weird words, “What is this fuckery?” Anyway, more reasons to not dwell on it. How awkward though. “Isn’t there all this tension in the air?”
Anyway, I think I actually know what I want now and I’ll stand by that. Nothing is going to change my mind anymore. I know better now.
Aside from my post of pick up lines and random Youtube videos, who actually reads my blog just because? Like you know, those people that get here from Facebook.
I’ve realized how much somebody can mean to me one moment and the next they’re worth nothing. It’s sad to think that’s how some things are turning out. To be honest, I don’t even care anymore. Yes, that’s all that it boils down to: me not caring.
For the past year, I know I’ve said that I realized a lot of things, but I never actually took those lessons into consideration. At least not until now. I don’t even know what to think actually. I have my own mindset now, but at the same time, there are things telling me otherwise. Who knows what that’s supposed to lead to.
Maybe it say that I don’t really care, but I still can’t help but feel a bit of resentment or anger. At least I have things to keep me busy now though, so that’s a good thing.
I had an interesting talk with my mom today when she picked me up from school. Now I just have that on my mind and it’s just really something to think about.
You should all listen to Canon in D piano solo arranged by Lee Galloway. I find it to be absolutely amazing. I printed out the sheet music for it last night and I’m going to try to learn to play it soon. :D Too bad the only access I have to a piano or keyboard is at school. It’s times like this that made me wish I had a keyboard or something.
